"This I Believe"

"I am not going to talk about religious beliefs but about matters so obvious that it has gone out of style to mention them. I believe in my neighbors. I know their faults, and I know that their virtues far outweigh their faults."

"Take Father Michael down our road a piece. I'm not of his creed, but I know that goodness and charity and loving kindness shine in his daily actions. I believe in Father Mike. If I'm in trouble, I'll go to him."

"My next-door neighbor is a veterinary doctor. Doc will get out of bed after a hard day to help a stray cat. No fee -- no prospect of a fee -- I believe in Doc."

"I believe in my townspeople. You can knock on any door in our town saying, 'I'm hungry,' and you will be fed. Our town is no exception. I've found the same ready charity everywhere. But for the one who says, 'To heck with you -- I got mine,' there are a hundred, a thousand who will say, 'Sure, pal, sit down.'

"I know that despite all warnings against hitchhikers I can step up to the highway, thumb for a ride and in a few minutes a car or a truck will stop and someone will say, 'Climb in Mac -- how far you going?'

"I believe in my fellow citizens. Our headlines are splashed with crime yet for every criminal there are 10,000 honest, decent, kindly men. If it were not so, no child would live to grow up. Business could not go on from day to day. Decency is not news. It is buried in the obituaries, but is a force stronger than crime. I believe in the patient gallantry of nurses and the tedious sacrifices of teachers. I believe in the unseen and unending fight against desperate odds that goes on quietly in almost every home in the land."

"I believe in the honest craft of workmen. Take a look around you. There never were enough bosses to check up on all that work. From Independence Hall to the Grand Coulee Dam, these things were built level and square by craftsmen who were honest in their bones."

"I believe that almost all politicians are honest ... there are hundreds of politicians, low paid or not paid at all, doing their level best without thanks or glory to make our system work. If this were not true we would never have gotten past the 13 colonies."

"I believe in Rodger Young. You and I are free today because of endless unnamed heroes from Valley Forge to the Yalu River. I believe in -- I am proud to belong to -- the United States. Despite shortcomings from lynchings to bad faith in high places, our nation has had the most decent and kindly internal practices and foreign policies to be found anywhere in history."

"And finally, I believe in my whole race. Yellow, white, black, red, brown. In the honesty, courage, intelligence, durability, and goodness of the overwhelming majority of my brothers and sisters everywhere on this planet. I am proud to be a human being. I believe that we have come this far by the skin of our teeth. That we always make it just by the skin of our teeth, but that we will always make it. Survive. Endure. I believe that this hairless embryo with the aching, oversize brain case and the opposable thumb, this animal barely up from the apes will endure. Will endure longer than his home planet -- will spread out to the stars and beyond, carrying with him his honesty and his insatiable curiosity, his unlimited courage and his noble essential decency."

"This I believe."

-Robert A. Heinlein

The Good Life

Well my vacation ended today. By today I mean Wednesday. Chris also started his new job, which he likes so yay for that. This term is going to be a very challenging one for me. I'm taking Flash which looks like it will be easier this time around because I have taken the video and 3D classes which gave me a little experience in dealing with time lines. Even just reading the first few chapters in the book I am already understanding things a lot better. I also have the Flash 8 on Demand book out from the library in case I need additional help. So there is the Flash challenge and there is a very large amount of reading assigned in the other two classes. Science fiction is the worst so far. Not only do I have to read my numerous amounts of books, but I also have to read some pages here on the net. I'm taking a deep breath and plunging in head first. I didn't get a lot done today unfortunately and I probably wont get much done tomorrow since Chris doesn't have to work (yay!).

He has been so supportive and motivating. I know that I can always count on him to help get me back on the right track. If I am down and think I can't get something done he always encourages me and makes sure I do it. I really don't know where I would be without him. It's like there was a part of me that was missing, but now I am finally complete. I'm happy, motivated, and determined to work hard for the things we want out of life. I never thought I would be here. I never thought this kind of love was possible. Eh, mostly all things I have said before, but I definitely think they bear repeating in this case. I'm ACTUALLY happy. I laugh a lot and really am enjoying my life. My broke, at times boring life, but just the same. Still fun and enjoyable.

It's nice to look back on these past years with Chris and I and see how much we have both grown as people and as a couple. All the people who complain about marriage apparently haven't found their true loves yet because it really is a blast. I mean come on I get to see my best friend every day. I always have a confidant, a play mate, or just someone to be bored with. I get to wake up next to his handsome face every day and get told how beautiful I am. I'm telling ya, it really doesn't get much better than this in terms of living with someone and being in love. It's not just love, it's companionship and understand. An unbreakable bond of faith and love. People call me gross and sappy. Definitely not something I used to be. I guess that alone speaks volumes.

I'm being irresponsible of course and typing this silly entry instead of doing my homework as I should be. I'm over excited cause I know that Chris will be home very soon. It makes it hard for me to focus. For like the last hour of his shifts I am always very anxious and unfocused because I'm thinking only of seeing him again. The reading isn't too bad there's just a lot of it that I tend to get intimidated and frustrated. Which is really something I need to work on. It does me no good, so I just need to stop.

This is really cool and I don't think I have mentioned it yet. My anxiety is under some pretty good control FINALLY. I did it by hating wasting time. I thought a lot about my anxiety and the feelings it causes in me, same with my depression. I found those emotions to mostly be a waste of my time. Needless worrying and sadness when I could be enjoying myself and not being such a downer to others. Once I realized how much time this was wasting in my life I worked even harder to stop those negative emotions from getting in. I tried as hard as I could to drown them out as soon as they appeared by reminding myself that they only waste my time. I can't believe the solution was so simple all this time. I'm not saying I'm completely over these ailments, but I'm getting a lot better with them. I still have my days when I'm just intensely sad and nothing will cure it, but overall I'm better.

I look forward to learning about the things in my classes and using them for my career. I have watched a lot of science fiction and played some sci-fi games and I totally can't wait to get into the literary side of the genre. I'm glad this class isn't a breeze because I want to learn all that I can in the short 9 weeks that I have. I say short now, but I can see myself wishing it was over before it will be :). Well I have put off my work long enough and Chris should be here within the hour. Till next time.

Snowy Night

I had a visit from an old friend yesterday and it really opened my eyes to the changes I have made in my outlook. She couldn't get over how happy I was. She commented on it a couple of different times. I really am. I'm so much happier than I had even realized. Things are going really well. I'm confident in Chris's ability to find another job so that we can start catching up soon. I was worried and scared, but not any more. I'm mean I'm still a little worried of course, but I'm not letting it get to me any more. I'm not obsessively thinking about all the things that are bad right now. God has blessed me so greatly I can't help but be happy about it. Chris has been incredible and he always seems to know how to make me smile. There isn't a word good enough for him. Incredible barely scrapes the surface of how great he is. He has been very understanding and helpful with my pain in the butt environmental class.

I took another test last night and got another 80. I can't believe I'm doing so terrible in this class. My overall grade is still a 95, but I'm afraid that will change if I don't do perfect on my final. I'm doing ok in my other classes too, but not nearly as well as I would like to. I also have a 95 in my video class and I believe I have a 97 in my business class. The video class is fun, but I can't seem to get myself motivated on my final project. I'm making a video for the Snow Leopard Trust and I hope that they will accept it when I have completed it. So far I only have about one minute and I need a minute and thirty seconds, so I get to add the content that I had left out. It really sucked actually, I took out some content because I thought that it would be too long, but it ended up being too short.

Chris has been great, but he has forced me to watch Star Trek TNG with him for the last couple of days. I still don't like the show, but I really like Data so it isn't that bad. It balances out and makes it ok. I'm kidding about the forcing part he has volunteered to watch other things too.

It's snowing outside and it's supposed to be getting really bad today. Which totally sucks because I was going to do my grocery shopping today. I may try and find another way to do it because I really need cat food since I don't have any at all. Not sure if it will work out or not though depending on the weather. My cats are already pretty mad at me because I didn't feed them last night. Well Chris will be home in about an hour and a half, so I should probably get some more school work done.