Positive
I've been actively trying to be more positive lately and so far it's working out pretty well. I'm also trying to switch to a day schedule because being up all alone every night is really getting to me. All I do is think and think and that tends to put me in a sad mood. I've also been trying to find things that will curb my sadness. So far, I've found that Garfield works almost every time. The current problem with this is that my DVD player is busted and I can't watch Garfield on my computer and do school work at the same time. My monitor just isn't big enough for that sort of thing. I'm watching some Garfield on our PS2 right now, but it is messing it up. Not Garfield, but movies in general. It really doesn't like to play episodes of stuff either which stinks cause the best Garfield stuff I have is the seasons of Garfield and friends.
So yes, happy mostly now. Things are still craptastic in terms of money and stress, but I'm just focusing on trusting God and being positive. Also I've been looking to the future a lot which has turned out to be a little bit of both, positive and negative. Chris and I have laid out plans for our environmentally friendly house that we will have some day. It's going to be really great with solar power and geothermal power. I think after Chris and I square more details away I'm going to make a model in 3Ds Max so we can actually see what it will be like. Living environmentally kinda stinks cause I wont be able to have a lot of the things that I wanted in my house, but it will be better and cheaper for us in the long run. Even though this Environmental Studies class has been a wicked pain it has really opened my eyes to a lot of things that are going on in the world.
On yet another happy note my anxiety is getting better and I'm able to deal with things a lot easier. I'm working really hard to be a better person and to get over my fears and issues. I've been praying a lot more and looking to The Word for my answers as much as possible.
I've also been switching things up for my chores and homework which is doing wonders for me and my house. It cuts the stress a little and it keeps me nice and busy. Instead of just pluggin out all the school work as possible in one night and then being drained the next night I have been doing like 10 pages of reading and then doing some laundry or dishes. Then I go back and work on some more of a project until I get stressed again then I do some more house work. I still don't take breaks at night like Chris wants me too, but I take breaks when he gets home from work. I figure if I work all night I can just focus on being with him while he is here.
Things are going really well between us. We have learned so much about each other over these past years it is really amazing. We are so much closer than we ever have been and I honestly think our arguing has had a lot to do with that. It sucks when it happens, but we always talk things out rationally and calmly afterwards. I think if we can find a better outlet for all this frustration than each other we will be golden. God and the power of love have been incredibly to us. My head seems to be a lot quieter too. Like when I thought about how much Chris loves me before I would imediately think that he actually doesn't some how, but now those thoughts are there nearly as often. I don't know if it is because those thoughts are harder to manifest because things are so great or if I'm actually getting better mentally. I really hope I'm genuinely getting better. Chris is going to show me some mediation techniques that he knows, plus I have been reading up on it in my study bible and on the internet. I think if I can ACTUALLY quiet my mind I can get some better control over my negative thoughts that tend to get out of hand.
So, overall I would say that my main focus right now (besides school and life in general) is to be positive, positive, positive. Instead of saying what I usually say, I've been trying to think first and say something positive. I have ended up saying the negative thing after at times, but it is getting a lot better. Praise Jesus for the strength that he has given me to get these things done in my life. I usually say that I have never been sadder or whatever in my posts, but this time I can actually say that I haven't been this happy in a very long time :).
So yes, happy mostly now. Things are still craptastic in terms of money and stress, but I'm just focusing on trusting God and being positive. Also I've been looking to the future a lot which has turned out to be a little bit of both, positive and negative. Chris and I have laid out plans for our environmentally friendly house that we will have some day. It's going to be really great with solar power and geothermal power. I think after Chris and I square more details away I'm going to make a model in 3Ds Max so we can actually see what it will be like. Living environmentally kinda stinks cause I wont be able to have a lot of the things that I wanted in my house, but it will be better and cheaper for us in the long run. Even though this Environmental Studies class has been a wicked pain it has really opened my eyes to a lot of things that are going on in the world.
On yet another happy note my anxiety is getting better and I'm able to deal with things a lot easier. I'm working really hard to be a better person and to get over my fears and issues. I've been praying a lot more and looking to The Word for my answers as much as possible.
I've also been switching things up for my chores and homework which is doing wonders for me and my house. It cuts the stress a little and it keeps me nice and busy. Instead of just pluggin out all the school work as possible in one night and then being drained the next night I have been doing like 10 pages of reading and then doing some laundry or dishes. Then I go back and work on some more of a project until I get stressed again then I do some more house work. I still don't take breaks at night like Chris wants me too, but I take breaks when he gets home from work. I figure if I work all night I can just focus on being with him while he is here.
Things are going really well between us. We have learned so much about each other over these past years it is really amazing. We are so much closer than we ever have been and I honestly think our arguing has had a lot to do with that. It sucks when it happens, but we always talk things out rationally and calmly afterwards. I think if we can find a better outlet for all this frustration than each other we will be golden. God and the power of love have been incredibly to us. My head seems to be a lot quieter too. Like when I thought about how much Chris loves me before I would imediately think that he actually doesn't some how, but now those thoughts are there nearly as often. I don't know if it is because those thoughts are harder to manifest because things are so great or if I'm actually getting better mentally. I really hope I'm genuinely getting better. Chris is going to show me some mediation techniques that he knows, plus I have been reading up on it in my study bible and on the internet. I think if I can ACTUALLY quiet my mind I can get some better control over my negative thoughts that tend to get out of hand.
So, overall I would say that my main focus right now (besides school and life in general) is to be positive, positive, positive. Instead of saying what I usually say, I've been trying to think first and say something positive. I have ended up saying the negative thing after at times, but it is getting a lot better. Praise Jesus for the strength that he has given me to get these things done in my life. I usually say that I have never been sadder or whatever in my posts, but this time I can actually say that I haven't been this happy in a very long time :).
posted by Angel Remer at 3:29 AM
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