Back
I have SO much to say today, I might not even finish until tonight :p. Once again I wonder where to start. Ah yes I know, let's start with the good news. I'll be officially gaining an Aunt-in-law on Saturday! Cinny and Kat are going to be having their ceremony and I'm so excited! For Cindy to finally be truly happy makes me glow. I love Kat and I know she is great for Cin. I just can't wait, of course my anxiety is acting up a bit because I want everything to be absolutely perfect for her and I'm worried that one person will screw things up. I'm very hopeful though and I have faith that it will all go great!
My next topic is my issues. I went to my councilor yesterday and he actually said that he's surprised that I'm not more angry with all the stress and crap that I have going on. That was a little strange, but understandable. I'm not really sure what to do with that though. I mean obviously I'm not going to be more angry or anything, I try to stay away from being mad as much as possible. It's just puzzling. He also gave me his pager number if I had a super bad issue that I couldn't work though, that was a nice gesture, but I deal and I live on. It's nice to know that he is willing to put some of his own personal time into my well being, however it's a little creepy too. I've had numerous amounts of councilors and none of them have ever done that. I don't know. I wish I had more friends though, I'm trying to look at different web sites and find some places around Lewiston that I could go to and try to make some new friends, but a lot of people around here are very stupid and they are into drugs and all that and I don't need to be around people like that, but I'm hopeful that I will find a nice good natured person.
Another thing that is really hurting me still is Erik. I really miss him very much. I dream about him a lot. Not like sexual or anything like that, but I dream about him and I going camping and going to the store and stuff like that. Dreams that make it seem like he is still around and that makes it even harder that he is gone. I really wish I could just call him and everything would be ok and we could just be friends again, but I know that just wont happen. It's yet another thing that is out of my hands.
Our new found horrible problem is pretty bad and SO very stressful. wal-Mart has cut Chris down to part time, which means that he is only going to be scheduled for 30 hours a week. That is a 20 hour loss for us :(. I'm supposed to be going to college soon, but I'm thinking that it is not going to happen now. I have to get a job and I just don't think I can work part time and go to college and keep this house clean. I'm so frustrated and stressed out. I wish there was more that I could do, but it seems hopeless and inevitable that we are going to fail. Chris wants a car, but there is just no way that that can happen right now. Especially now. I don't know what we're gonna do, but I hope something will come up for us. I really hope so. I have a phone call that I can make, but it's a last resort thing. I think it may have to happen though. I'll wait another week and see how things go. Well I've depressed myself enough for one day, so I'm gonna go mope for a bit and then do some dishes. Later.
My next topic is my issues. I went to my councilor yesterday and he actually said that he's surprised that I'm not more angry with all the stress and crap that I have going on. That was a little strange, but understandable. I'm not really sure what to do with that though. I mean obviously I'm not going to be more angry or anything, I try to stay away from being mad as much as possible. It's just puzzling. He also gave me his pager number if I had a super bad issue that I couldn't work though, that was a nice gesture, but I deal and I live on. It's nice to know that he is willing to put some of his own personal time into my well being, however it's a little creepy too. I've had numerous amounts of councilors and none of them have ever done that. I don't know. I wish I had more friends though, I'm trying to look at different web sites and find some places around Lewiston that I could go to and try to make some new friends, but a lot of people around here are very stupid and they are into drugs and all that and I don't need to be around people like that, but I'm hopeful that I will find a nice good natured person.
Another thing that is really hurting me still is Erik. I really miss him very much. I dream about him a lot. Not like sexual or anything like that, but I dream about him and I going camping and going to the store and stuff like that. Dreams that make it seem like he is still around and that makes it even harder that he is gone. I really wish I could just call him and everything would be ok and we could just be friends again, but I know that just wont happen. It's yet another thing that is out of my hands.
Our new found horrible problem is pretty bad and SO very stressful. wal-Mart has cut Chris down to part time, which means that he is only going to be scheduled for 30 hours a week. That is a 20 hour loss for us :(. I'm supposed to be going to college soon, but I'm thinking that it is not going to happen now. I have to get a job and I just don't think I can work part time and go to college and keep this house clean. I'm so frustrated and stressed out. I wish there was more that I could do, but it seems hopeless and inevitable that we are going to fail. Chris wants a car, but there is just no way that that can happen right now. Especially now. I don't know what we're gonna do, but I hope something will come up for us. I really hope so. I have a phone call that I can make, but it's a last resort thing. I think it may have to happen though. I'll wait another week and see how things go. Well I've depressed myself enough for one day, so I'm gonna go mope for a bit and then do some dishes. Later.
posted by Angel Remer at 3:28 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home