Outlet

I've come to notice that when I'm having fun and things are good I tend to not post, not only because I am busy, but because this is my outlet. It's good to have something like that, and I just don't have the patience to write in a journal because writing takes so much longer than typing and I have so many thoughts going through my head that if I don't get them out fast enough they tend to go away. It's funny I just told Kat that I think I type faster now that I have started blogging and she said it was to keep up with my thoughts :p.

I had a good day today, I went to see my friend E, by we I mean Cin, Kat, Chris and myself. It was nice to see her again, I wish I had more time right now to hang out with her. She is a really special person, she has happiness and fun emanating off from her. Chris didn't really visit, he went down to the music store to be a dork. He tends to do that a lot. :p After that Cinny brought Chris and I to Governors and dropped us off, so we could have dinner. It was good, the coconut pie was yummy as ever and the boneless buffalo wings were REALLY spicy but very yummy. Then I had some roast turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes with turkey gravy. The turkey and potatoes were good, but the stuffing was gross. Oh yeah and I had coleslaw, how could I forget. The waitress was kinda dumb and she messed up like 5 or 6 times, so I gave her a suitable tip. It was nice to go out to a restaurant with Chris though. When we were done Cinny picked us back up, and we went home and stayed up for a little over an hour and then went back to sleep. He got up and went to work and I went back to sleep for a little while.

When I got up I signed on and talked to Cheryl for a little while and then I cleaned for two hours took a quick break and cleaned for two more and now here I am. I've managed to stay cool and calm all day and didn't have any anxiety issues at all really. I'm actually very excited because I'm going to see my mommy tomorrow and I really miss her, I get to see my brother Tony too, which is rare that he actually wanted to see me. I think he has grown up enough and moved on through his problem to start having a relationship with me which is awesome I just need to remember to stay calm and not get over excited and scare him, or make him uncomfortable. I'm a little scared for the day that he calls me Sissy again, because I know I'm gonna cry, and I don't want him to think that calling me that is a bad thing, it's just been so long. I hope that some day Nathan will grow up and stop being a little brat and I can hear him call me Sissy again too. He knows that I'm right about his behavior, but he won't take the steps to change it, he'd rather be a selfish, ungrateful hellion. I try not to worry to much about that though, it'll just get me worked up and worried about mom. She is getting up there in age and she has so many health problems, I wish I could take care of her, but for one I don't have a car and for two I think it might be more of a problem for her if I was always around with Nathan and everything because we are always at each others throats if he doesn't behave himself. I'd like to sit down and have a serious talk with him, but I don't know how he would react and I don't want to make him even more uncomfortable.

Well I have some more dishes to do and a ton of laundry to take care of, since I haven't done it all since I cleaned out the closet. I think I have 3 more loads to do and then I'll finally be done with it. Oh no wait I have 4 because I have a load of bed clothes to do because Gavin has been angry about something lately and he has decided to pee on my bed twice and managed to get both of my comforters. Bye bye now.