Chris Rant
I've noticed that there isn't much that will come out of my head, so I figured I'd start a post and hope that it starts spilling on it's own. I'm way to excited for Valentines. Chris has something planned for us and I'm very excited. I have great things planned for him, so I'll tell all about it on Wednesday. We are going to have an entire 2 days off and it is going to be great, I am so excited I can barely contain it. One thing I'm not looking forward to though is walking up to see him tonight at 7-11 in all the crap-tastic snow. I'm so in love with him it's crazy. The way he looks at me makes me melt sometimes and I just feel like crying happy tears of love. I was thinking that maybe Valentines had something to do with it, but no, I'm crazy in love. Well I'm crazy regardless, but definitely in love. I was supposed to go to the mall with a friend today, but no luck he is still sleeping and the snow is piling up. Plus the mall closes at 5, so I doubt we would make it there in time anyway.
I can't think without Chris being on my mind, and I can't breath without him in my heart. He is sleeping now, and I wish I could join him, but my schedule has gotten all messed up lately. I've been sleeping a lot at night, so now I am up a lot during the day which is depressing and weird and crazy. I want to sleep when he sleeps, but it's hard when I'm at home all night. Yes I have the school work and I do stand up to read to decrease the sleepy, but I get weak and I sit down and I doze off and the next thing I know I am getting woken up by a phone call from him at work on his break. I have a hard time getting through the night without being depressed unless he calls me, so it's always a welcome niceness to hear his voice. He is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, I'll start to wonder in my reading and procrastinate doing chores, but when I hear his voice I get all better and I can do what I have to do again. I wonder if it's the same way with him?
Since things have changed I cook, and do all of the cleaning again. He works more than I do again, so now it's all on me to take care of those things. I do it with honor and pride of course. He is taking care of us in a way that I can't so I take care of him the way I can. One of the things that I like to do the most is making his lunches for work before he goes to Wal-mart. I write little love notes on his sandwich bags and it seems to perk him up while he is at work, plus I wish he could always know how much I love him, and this helps to express it. I really hope he loves his Valentines gifts. I worked really hard on one of them and I know he will at least like the rest.
He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew I could feel this way. I never knew I could feel this much. It's funny how I think about him the most when he is sleeping not even 3 feet away from me. I suppose it's because I can hear him breathing and I know he is there, which makes me miss his touch even more. Miss his voice, miss his smile, miss his laugh. I think about how hard he works for us and I try to do something special for him. Something that I know he will love. I cry thinking about how much I love him sometimes. Mostly because I'm scared and I'm afraid that one day he will realize that I'm not what he wants and he will leave. Not because I want to keep him and make him unhappy, but because I want him to be happy, so if that is what he needs, I would want him to have it. If his happiness means being without me, then that's where I'd want him to be. Thankfully, of course, he wants to be with me. I'm as much his air as he is mine.
I'm to distracted with thoughts of a newly thought up surprise for him, so I have to go now, but all I know without any doubt, darkness, or clouds is that I love him, more than words, more than life, and more than well words...
I can't think without Chris being on my mind, and I can't breath without him in my heart. He is sleeping now, and I wish I could join him, but my schedule has gotten all messed up lately. I've been sleeping a lot at night, so now I am up a lot during the day which is depressing and weird and crazy. I want to sleep when he sleeps, but it's hard when I'm at home all night. Yes I have the school work and I do stand up to read to decrease the sleepy, but I get weak and I sit down and I doze off and the next thing I know I am getting woken up by a phone call from him at work on his break. I have a hard time getting through the night without being depressed unless he calls me, so it's always a welcome niceness to hear his voice. He is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, I'll start to wonder in my reading and procrastinate doing chores, but when I hear his voice I get all better and I can do what I have to do again. I wonder if it's the same way with him?
Since things have changed I cook, and do all of the cleaning again. He works more than I do again, so now it's all on me to take care of those things. I do it with honor and pride of course. He is taking care of us in a way that I can't so I take care of him the way I can. One of the things that I like to do the most is making his lunches for work before he goes to Wal-mart. I write little love notes on his sandwich bags and it seems to perk him up while he is at work, plus I wish he could always know how much I love him, and this helps to express it. I really hope he loves his Valentines gifts. I worked really hard on one of them and I know he will at least like the rest.
He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew I could feel this way. I never knew I could feel this much. It's funny how I think about him the most when he is sleeping not even 3 feet away from me. I suppose it's because I can hear him breathing and I know he is there, which makes me miss his touch even more. Miss his voice, miss his smile, miss his laugh. I think about how hard he works for us and I try to do something special for him. Something that I know he will love. I cry thinking about how much I love him sometimes. Mostly because I'm scared and I'm afraid that one day he will realize that I'm not what he wants and he will leave. Not because I want to keep him and make him unhappy, but because I want him to be happy, so if that is what he needs, I would want him to have it. If his happiness means being without me, then that's where I'd want him to be. Thankfully, of course, he wants to be with me. I'm as much his air as he is mine.
I'm to distracted with thoughts of a newly thought up surprise for him, so I have to go now, but all I know without any doubt, darkness, or clouds is that I love him, more than words, more than life, and more than well words...
posted by Angel Remer at 2:56 PM
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