Love

Well I'm supposed to be sleeping, but my stupid stomach is bothering me again, so I couldn't fall back asleep. I wish that I could just make it go away and not hurt any more. Of course it had gone away for a couple of days before I was supposed to see the doctor and I thought I was all better, but now it's back and I totally hate it. If I'm not sleeping then I'm supposed to be doing my home work, but I just want to be with Chris and I can't, so it totally blows. I laid in bed with him for probably an hour before I actually accepted my non-sleeping fate and got up. I'm so tired emotionally, I just want to go some where with Chris and get away from all this crap for awhile. To have one day with him where I don't have to worry about anything except what we are going to do next. He tries so hard and I feel bad because I'm just so glum all the time. I'm not happy, that's obvious, but he is one of the only things that brings light to my life. Last night I was lonely and blah, but when he came home and I got to hold him, everything was ok again and my life had meaning. We may have issues, like anyone else, but I know that I couldn't live without him. I would go through the motions sure, but life just wouldn't be worth it any more. Waking up, smiling, being useful... I don't see these things happening without him. The day that you realize that you have a life that is completely intertwined with someone elses can be difficult, but not for me. I'm so glad that I share my whole life with Chris. He shares his whole life with me and we just love each other every day. I can't really say that there is much that is better in this world than sharing every day with your best friend. I never thought love could do this. I never thought that love could feel like this. Even when I'm extremely mad at him I am so entirely in love with him, it just doesn't make sense to me. This is love I have come to see, it doesn't make sense or fit nicely into anyones plans. Love is an entity all it's own. It's passionate, wild, driven, uncontrolable. I can honestly say that I love being in love :).