New Year

Well another year has ended and yet another has begun. I've kind of made some New Years resolutions, but it's basically just stuff I should have been doing anyway, so I can't really say that they are resolutions, they are more like it's about times, lol. I'm starting to walk my puppy every day at a similar time. I can't always do it at the same time every day, but I try. He seems to be really benefiting from it. He sleeps very well and he is learning more discipline. He's getting so big now, I can barely remember my little tiny polarchuck puppy. It seems like every time I take a picture of him he out grows it before I can even get it developed. He's so smart, he picks up new tricks after like the 3rd or 4th try, it's great. I wish people would listen to me more when it comes to him though, like I tell my aunt not to do something with him, like teach him to take food from her mouth and she does it any way, man doesn't that piss me off.
Erik and I are hanging out again. It's great he says he really isn't leaving this time. I know he had very very good reasons to leave before, but I still missed him a lot. I'm so glad to have him back in my life. I'm going with him to his friends house tomorrow to hear him practice with his band and eat some deer steaks, I hope it will be yummy. His band is called Diatribe, and he is the lead singer. He has a really great voice and I can't imagine the band not going some where. They sound great, I wish they were a big hit rock band already so I could have their music to listen to all the time. I'm very excited.
Well Chris should be home from work soon. I miss him and can't wait for him to get here. He should be home in like half an hour. He works far away now and it makes me sad when he is gone. Things are kinda rough between us right now, but I'm sure that they will get better soon enough. I just need to trust the Lord and wait to see where he will take us.
My mind has been in such a jumble lately. Erik and I keep talking about the past even though that doesn't help anything at all. From what I can tell it only makes things harder for us. I'm glad he told me the truth don't get me wrong, but I mean it just makes me think about things that really don't need to be thought about. I pray for him so much. He hurts so much and I wish that his life could just be great for once. He's my loud Bob, ya know like silent Bob and I'm Jay. I'm constantly feeling like crying, but I'm not always sure why. I mean sometimes I know like I get really lonely when Chris is gone and I'm all alone for the day, but other times I just feel like crying and I don't have a ready reason for it. I think tonight is gonna be another one of those really long posts. I should start trying to post at least every day, so that I don't have so much to say at once. I mean who wants to read a huge post. It's not like anyone reads this anyway. I'm not sure if I like that or if I wish someone did.
You'd think that I'd always remember to feed my fish since he is right underneath my monitor, but I constantly forget. I was supposed to change his water tonight, but I haven't yet. I think I'll just wait until Chris gets home and do it then. I like making a playlist at the end of my post it helps me to remember the state of mind that I was in when I typed it. However Destiny's Child is so not matching my mind state, but I wanted to hear the song. Anyway I was talking about it benefiting Naraku going out for walks, but I really think it is benefiting me more, I feel stronger and more energized already and I've only been doing it for two days, you wouldn't believe the difference it makes. I told Erik today that he had inspired me and I shouldn't have. You never really know what you can and can't say to him. He asked me to tell him how, but the conversation went some where else and I forgot to. I don't want to disappoint him. He said that people say that to him a lot, but they never follow through with whatever it was that they were inspired to do. He has inspired me to be in better shape, just listening to him talk about how good he feels I want to feel that way too. I've wanted it for a while and I haven't really done much about it, but I know that things are different now. I know that because originally I didn't plan to make it a daily thing it just kinda happened that way. When I realized that I would be doing this every day I made a chart to help keep track of what I'm doing and how much of it I do, so that way I can know just how hard I've pushed to get where I'm going, plus that I love this new found energy that doesn't require coffee. Well I guess I'm gonna wrap this up even though I really don't want to lol. Oh well hopefully I'll get a chance to talk tomorrow. Till then.

Song List
The Cardigans - Erase and Rewind (3 times in a row)
Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground
Sneaker Pimps - Flowers and Silence
Destiny's Child - Say My Name
The Darkness - I believe In a Thing Called Love
Prince - Cream
The Cure - Love Song