A Month Ago Today

Interesting how the one day I decide to post is exactly one month from the last time that I posted. I've had so much going on, but I haven't had the words to describe it all. I'm having the age old problem of figuring out where I am to begin. I'll start with Chris I guess.

Chris and I had another huge blowout the other day and things really became clear that we need to find some solutions or this may fall apart simply from overstress and exhaustion. Solution number one is that Chris isn't going to have more than like one beer if not forever, for a very long time. He gets way to angry when he drinks a lot. I have no alcohol restrictions myself, I don't get really angry I just get over emotional as most drunk people do. We're going to get some marriage counseling and work on opening up to each other without holding things back and without getting overly upset about each others feelings. This is going to work out, and we will look back on these hard times and be thankful that they happened. We'll be thankful for the strength it has given us individually and together. I thought a lot about it and nothing means more to me then staying with him and working it out. I want him to be happy and he hasn't been really happy for a while now. We're both happy to be together, but there are so many other factors that have been weighing on us that we sometimes lose sight of how much that means to us. Plus REALLY being in love is new to me and that makes for weird new feelings and behaviors. It's like a progressing feeling that keeps building even when you think it can't get any stronger. Weirdness for sure.

I'm on a vacation from school right now and I'm not liking it. I wish it was just a couple of days off instead of an entire week and a half. Very boring. I thought I'd be spending all this time with people and I've basically just been bored and lonely. I'm gonna go eat something, so I may be back to finish this I may not.